How to Ask for Referrals and Get Them

Imagine having a lineup of customers who already love what you do—raving about your services to their friends, family, and colleagues, and virtually eliminating the need for generating new leads because you have a line of ideal customers out your door. That’s the dream, right?

But get this, 91% of customers (this probably includes your customers) say they’re more than willing to make a referral, but only 11% of businesses actually ask for referrals.

Not asking for referrals is a massive missed opportunity sitting right there, waiting to be tapped.

So, why aren’t YOU asking for referrals?

The answer usually boils down to one of three things: fear, awkwardness, or simply forgetting.

But here’s the reality: asking for referrals doesn’t need to be uncomfortable or feel like you’re being pushy or desperate. In fact, when done right, it can feel like a natural extension of the relationship you’ve built with your clients.

So let’s dig into the basics of referrals and how to develop great clients who generate referrals.

Don’t Want to Ask for Referrals? Do This Instead

Create a Great Customer Experience

I know that this article is about asking for referrals. But wouldn’t it be so much better if you didn’t have to ask and referrals just happened day in and day out.

The BEST way to get customers to refer people to you is to create an outstanding customer experience, one that naturally creates such customer delight that they can’t wait to share the experience with their friends, colleagues, and family.

Let’s face it, these days, the bar is pretty low. You don’t have to go nuts, you just have to do at least one thing really, really well.

Like what?

You can focus on being friendly and really knowing your customers, who they are what they like, and simply making them feel seen and heard.

• If they order the same thing all the time, show them you remember.
• Say hello and use their name when they come in.
• If you’re an online business, engage with your customers, respond to their social posts, etc.

Be a business they can count on. By this I mean say what you do and do what you say. Be on budget, on time. Be dependable. Be trustworthy. Right now a lot of small businesses are not returning calls, are not showing up on time, are going over budget, or don’t know their own business. If all you do is deliver on what you promise — you are creating an amazing referral-worthy experience.

You can also create referral-worthy experiences by offering something truly unique. But here’s the thing, if you aren’t offering a “soft experience” like customer service, or dependability, your product had BETTER BE beyond outstanding. Great products can generate referrals, but not if the rest of the experience doesn’t support them.

Solve problems — even those you didn’t create. Most things these days are interconnected and complicated. Customers will have problems, and the company or team member that steps up to solve the problem and make a dent in the problem is going to win rave reviews. Be proactive, if you think something might be a problem — address it, prepare the customer. They will appreciate it and refer your business.

Finally, look for areas where you can add unexpected value for your customers. My one piece of advice is to focus in a specific area.

When you nail these aspects, you create an experience so positive that clients naturally want to share it with others.

Create Your Own Referral Networking Group

OK, so if you don’t want to ask for referrals, you can create your own referral networking group. This doesn’t have to be super formal, it’s just a group of your colleagues and friends who are are part of a professional network, who enjoy building relationships, and have access to potential clients.

Now, there are referral organizations out there (like BNI)

But you can create your own informal group that meets online and spans the country or the globe. The most important thing is that your group can refer and recommend clients to each other.

Here’s How to Ask for Business Referrals

1. Pick the “Happiest” Moment in the Customer Experience

Knowing when to ask for referrals is just as important as knowing how to ask for referrals.

The best time for you to ask for a referral and the most convenient time for the customer is the exact moment when when your client is at their happiest – usually right after you’ve delivered exceptional results or solved a significant problem for them.

For example, if you’re a real estate marketing agency, the ideal moment might be after you’ve helped a client close a big deal or significantly increased their lead generation. Their success is your success, and they’re more likely to sing your praises when the benefits of your work are fresh in their minds. This is also an opportune time to consider offering an incentive offer for the referral.

2. Make It Part of Your Process

If you’re struggling with how to ask for referrals, why not just make it part of your process.

Incorporate referral requests into your standard workflow. This could be as simple as adding a line to your invoices or including a referral request in your post-project wrap-up emails.

When you integrate asking for referrals into your standard operating procedures, you remove the awkwardness and ensure you’re consistently seeking new opportunities at every step. This will encourage referrals more naturally over time.

3. Leverage Social Proof

People are more likely to refer you if they see others doing the same.

Research shows that the average Facebook user has over 200 friends. Harness this network effect by showcasing testimonials and case studies on your website and social media platforms such as a LinkedIn profile.

When satisfied clients see others sharing their positive experiences, they’re more likely to join in. Seeing a winning referral from another customer can help sway those that are on the fence.

4. Create a Referral Program

A structured referral program can incentivize your clients to actively seek out referral opportunities.

Consider offering rewards such as discounts on future services, cash bonuses, or exclusive perks. Here’s a simple framework you can use:

Referral Type	Reward
Successful Lead	10% discount on next service
Converted Client	$100 cash bonus or equivalent service credit
High-Value Client	Exclusive VIP package or significant service upgrade

Remember to make the program easy to understand and participate in. The simpler it is, the more likely your clients are to engage.

5. Use the “Reciprocity Principle”

If you want to receive referrals, you’ve got to give referrals. This is reciprocity.

The principle of reciprocity, as described by psychologist Robert Cialdini, suggests that people are more likely to do something for you if you’ve done something for them first. Apply this to your referral strategy by offering value before asking for a referral.

The most obvious thing you can do is GIVE referrals to the businesses you love and appreciate.

For example, when you’ve had a great experience at a business or if a business you love is offering something special, insert a referral link to a social post and encourage your community to purchase from them.

For instance, you could:

• Share a valuable industry report.
• Offer a free consultation or service upgrade.
• Connect them with a useful contact in your network.

By providing unexpected value, you create a sense of indebtedness that makes clients more inclined to reciprocate with a referral. They may even feel inclined to share names right away.

6. Make Customer Referrals Easy

The easier you make it for clients to refer you, the more likely they are to do so.

Create referral templates or scripts that clients can easily customize and share. For example:

You can pre-write a referral letter that they can use. Like this one:

“I recently worked with [Your Name] from [Your Company] on [specific project], and the results were fantastic. They [specific benefit achieved]. If you’re looking for help with [your service area], I highly recommend reaching out to them at [your contact info].”

Provide this referral template in an email that clients can forward or as a social media post they can share with a click. Make it as easy as possible for them to send referrals.

7. Make it Personal

While templates are useful, personalization can significantly increase the effectiveness of your referral requests. When asking for referrals, reference specific work you’ve done together or results you’ve achieved.

This shows that you value the relationship and aren’t just making a generic ask. It can make your existing clients feel like they have a good relationship with you and make them more inclined to provide referrals.

The best way to do this is to add a “referral conversation” or a client debrief to your standard process. Have a meeting with your customer, ask them what they appreciated the most, ask them how working with you has improved their business and their life.

This is the ideal time to grab a testimonial (a video testimonial would be amazing) or a Google Review.

At the end of this conversation, simply ask them “Who else do you think might get the same kinds of results that you’ve gotten?”

8. Follow Up and Say Thank You

Always follow up on referral requests and express gratitude, whether or not they result in new business.

A simple thank-you note or small gift can go a long way in reinforcing positive relationships and encouraging future referrals.

Showing appreciation is key to a great working relationship.

How to Get Over Your Fear of Asking for Referrals

Many professionals feel uncomfortable asking for referrals, fearing they might come across as pushy or desperate. Here’s how to overcome this hesitation:

• Remember that most satisfied clients are happy to help but may not think to do so unless asked.
• Frame the request as a way to help others who might benefit from your services.
• Practice your referral request script to build confidence.
• Start with your most satisfied clients to build momentum.

How to Measure the Success of Your Referral Program

To refine your referral strategy over time, it’s important to track its effectiveness. Set up a system to monitor:

• Number of referral requests made.
• Number of referrals received.
• Conversion rate of referral leads.
• Value of business generated from referrals.

Use this data to identify what’s working and what needs improvement in your referral process. By measuring your results, you’ll see how much more your business grows by asking how to ask for referrals the right way.

FAQs about how to ask for referrals

What’s a good template for referral emails?

The best thing you can do to make it easy to ask customers for referrals is to create a series of email or DM templates that your customers can send or share with people they know who will also appreciate working with you.

How to ask past clients for referrals

Easy! Start by thanking them for being so much fun to work with. Then casually ask if they know anyone who could use your services. Sweeten the deal and offer incentives—like a discount or a coffee gift card (because who can say no to caffeine?). Everyone wins, and you get more clients without feeling like you’re asking for a kidney. BOOM!

How to ask friends for referrals

Keep it casual! Mention you’re looking to help more people and ask if they know anyone who could benefit from your services (mutual connections, anyone?). No need to make it awkward—just a friendly “Hey, know anyone who might need what I do?” works wonders. Plus, if they help, you definitely owe them coffee or at least eternal friendship points!

How to ask for referrals in an email

Craft a short and sweet referral email that doesn’t sound like a robot wrote it. Start with a friendly greeting, thank them for their business, then slide in a line about how you’d love to help more people like them. Bonus points if you include an easy-to-copy-and-paste email template they can forward. Think: zero effort for them, maximum referrals for you.

How do you politely ask for referrals?

To politely ask for referrals, be direct but not pushy. Express gratitude for your client’s business, highlight the value you’ve provided, and then ask if they know anyone who might benefit from similar services. Always give them an easy out if they’re not comfortable making a referral.

I’m a real estate agent, how can I make requesting referrals a part of my process?

How do I write an email asking for referrals?

When writing an email asking for referrals, keep it concise and personal. Start by thanking the client for their business, remind them of the specific results you’ve achieved together, and then make a clear, straightforward request for a referral. Provide an easy way for them to make the referral, such as a template they can use or a link to your referral program.

What is the best script for asking for referrals?

A good referral script might go like this: “I’m so glad we were able to [achieve specific result] for you. We’re always looking to help more businesses like yours. Do you know anyone else who might benefit from our services? If so, I’d be grateful for an introduction.” Remember to adapt this to your specific situation and relationship with the client.

What is the best way to get referrals?

The best way to get referrals is to consistently deliver exceptional value to your clients, build strong relationships, and make asking for referrals a natural part of your business process. Combine this with a well-structured referral program, timely follow-ups, and genuine appreciation for any referrals received.

Conclusion

Learning how to ask for referrals effectively can transform your business growth trajectory. By delivering exceptional value, timing your requests strategically, and making it easy for clients to refer you, you can tap into a powerful source of high-quality leads. Remember, the key to successful referral marketing is building genuine relationships and consistently exceeding expectations. Start implementing these strategies today, and watch your referral network – and your business – flourish.